Can your SO be "stolen?"

There was one girl who I vowed to hate for the rest of my life. It was the girl who stole my ex-boyfriend. She was a new friend he had made through an organization on campus while we were in college. When I first met her she seemed nice. Then as time went on I started to suspect something between them. I noticed they were becoming better friends, and the way she would ask him for favors, post messages on his Facebook, chat online, and interact with him made me feel uncomfortable. I approached him about it, but he reassured me that they were just friends and that he could never date someone like her. He even brought us both to lunch once because he wanted us to get along. A little while later we broke up, and about a month or 2 afterwards, he told me he was already seeing someone. As soon as he said that sentence, I already knew who it was.

I was devastated. The timeline I put together made me certain that they liked each other while I was with him, and that the day he broke up with me is probably the day they decided they wanted to be together, maybe even possibly cheated (it's not confirmed... but I don't want to fill up this whole post with why I'm pretty sure that's what happened. I'll just say that events transpired that led me to believe this). I hated him for betraying me. But I truly hated this girl. This heartless, monstrous bitch, who plotted, schemed, and stole her way into his heart.

Since then, I've had a long time to reflect on our relationship and what went wrong. We were having problems during this time. We almost broke up, took a break, and stayed together. I think around the time he started liking her, he was already gone from the relationship. Whether or not this girl was in the picture, we would have broken up because we were just not right for each other. And if he was already "gone" from me (mentally, at least), that means he could not have been "stolen." Nevertheless, while I have forgiven him, it is hard for me to forgive her. I still can't look at pictures of her without feelings of disgust and hatred.

Do you think an SO can be stolen or is he/she already gone? Have you ever stolen another person's SO?

**Edit: The datingish blog featured my post! http://www.datingish.com/715286358/can-your-so-be-stolen/

I'm still here

It's October already and I haven't moved. Obviously something went wrong. Of course writing it on the blog wouldn't prevent me from flip-flopping once again. Again, I am not sure about what I should do. My work contract ends in March, so I have a job for another 5 months. My boss is trying hard to get me a position. If a position opens for me, I'll take it, but I do not know how likely it will happen. My boss said the director of our group would try to make a business justification to upper management. But then at a meeting recently, she was telling us the president wants more work to be done with less resources. So that doesn't sound very comforting at all. And also, with the whole recession thing, I thought it might be foolish to be picky with jobs and maybe I should be looking in NorCal and SoCal. I have no idea when I should start. I would like to finish my contract, but would it be better to just take whatever comes along? Would it look bad if I didn't fulfill my contract? Especially since I got another extension? If my goal is to work in March, when should I start looking and would employers be willing to wait for me? So confused!

I really do want to be back in SoCal, though. I feel like I'm watching my life pass me by and I'm just sitting here not doing anything.