Two posts in one night. I don't know why I'm such a blogging mood.
I seriously feel like my relationship is on the rocks. I think I'm being worn down by the long distance. I almost broke up with Erik about a month ago. I just felt like I couldn't handle the distance anymore. We talked about it for a long time and decided to stay together. He said he would make more effort to make time for me and I would try to be stronger and more understanding of his time commitments. I told him I seriously don't know if I can handle two more years of long distance. He told me he sometimes thinks he should let me go because he thinks he's being unfair to me.
It seems like the only thing that can save our relationship is if I move back to Socal to be closer to him. He's coming back for the summer soon and I'm so happy to be with him again. But I'm afraid that after this summer things will go back to the way they used to be and I'll be unhappy again. We've been talking a lot about possibly moving in together at the beginning of next year.
Either with Erik, someone else, or myself, I think I am ready to move back to Socal and leave the Bay Area. I really love the Bay and I wish I could explore it more, but what's the use if there's no one to explore it with? I've been living here for 6 years, I think I'm done with it. I miss Socal. Part of me wonders if I would feel the same way if I were single. Honestly? I think I would stay up here if I was single.
I admit it. I want to move for Erik. I try to tell myself it's for my family, it's for my friends. And it is for them, but deep inside, I know a big reason is for Erik. There are a lot of things to consider. Finding a job is the biggest issue. As we all know, the economy sucks right now. How long would it take for me to find a job and how stable would it be? Also, people are moving to areas in order to find jobs. I would be moving away from where the jobs for me are. (There's a wealth of biotech companies in the Bay Area... not so much in LA... I've been looking...) How much sense does that make in this economic climate?
A couple of my girlfriends said I shouldn't move for a guy. That's also what I would've said to anyone else if wasn't going through what I'm going through now. I think now, "Why not?" He's the love of my life. I see a great future ahead of us. I found a great post on datingish.com: http://www.datingish.com/704054702/grownup-love/ The post ends by saying love is a sacrifice. So which is the bigger sacrifice? Leaving financial security during an economic crisis or enduring 2 more years of lonely nights with only a few days in between to be physically together?
No comments:
Post a Comment